I’ve struggled with my weight for most of my life. That doesn’t mean I was always overweight—there were times I was fit and active—but I’ve been on the yo-yo dieting rollercoaster since childhood.
My mom, though loving and supportive, had her own challenges with food and weight. She feared I’d go hungry and often encouraged me to eat more than I needed. She took me to dietitians and encouraged me to play sports, which I’m still grateful for today. I found joy in activity—tennis, cross-country, boxing—and that competitive spirit stayed with me.
But as I moved into adulthood, I became exhausted by diets. I’d lose weight, only to gain it back. The constant measuring, tracking, and calorie-counting felt like a full-time job. Eventually, I gave up. I threw caution to the wind and let myself eat whatever I wanted—rich, processed foods, fast food, sugary snacks. I also began drinking socially and heavily—beer, wine, mixers—and embraced a lifestyle of indulgence. My motto became: “I’m young. I deserve to enjoy life, no matter the cost.”
A typical day? A heavy breakfast with eggs, bacon, toast slathered in mayo and ketchup. Lunch was often McDonald’s or a greasy chicken sandwich. Dinner might be pizza or a giant bowl of pasta, followed by chocolate or ice cream on the couch in front of the TV. I didn’t eat to feel satisfied—I ate until I was painfully full. I had no concept of listening to my body.
At the time, I didn’t feel healthy—physically or emotionally. I was anxious, often depressed, and convinced it was just “in my DNA.” Low self-esteem followed me everywhere. I’d tug at my shirt to hide my belly or wear jackets to cover my chest. I laughed off teasing comments, but they hurt.
Then, in my mid-forties, something shifted.
One night, after another holiday of overeating and drinking, I felt sick. Not just physically, but mentally. It wasn’t fun anymore—it was exhausting. I was tired of the loop I’d been stuck in for years. I knew I needed a reset, and it started with giving up alcohol. What followed changed everything.
The Turning Point
Going sober helped me drop over 60 pounds—but more importantly, it gave me clarity. Without alcohol, I slept better, I felt lighter, calmer, and more in control. For the first time in years, I woke up refreshed. No fog, no grumpiness, no regrets.
This led to a bigger question: If changing one habit could make such a difference… what else could I improve?
I began looking at my gut health, my mood, and how deeply food impacted both. I realized I didn’t want to just lose weight—I wanted to feel empowered. To finally feel free from the habits that had controlled me for so long.
The Real Change Was Mindset
I used to think I deserved nightly ice cream after a stressful day. That food was my reward, my escape. But I had it backwards.
Now, I feel balanced and grounded without those few minutes of dopamine. With the right habits in place—not willpower—I don’t automatically reach for junk food when I feel emotional. Sure, cravings still come. But I’ve learned they pass. And with time, it gets easier.
What’s Working for Me Now
- Intermittent Fasting: I fast from 7 PM to 1PM daily (18/6). This eliminates the need to plan or snack unnecessarily.
- Keto + Mediterranean elements: I avoid most processed carbs, but enjoy legumes, fiber-rich veggies, healthy fats, and lots of protein.
- Intuitive Eating: I don’t count calories. I eat mindfully, enjoy meals with friends, and never feel like I’m “on a diet.”
- Drinks: During the week, it’s water, herbal tea, and coffee. On weekends, I enjoy a few glasses of wine—mindfully, not excessively.
I journal regularly, jotting small reminders to myself like:
“Try cutting back on milk.”
“Add more fish this week.”
“Go veggie for two nights.”
These tiny adjustments help me stay in tune with my body, rather than follow someone else’s plan. I’ve become my own experiment—one I’m proud of.
This Isn’t About Perfection. It’s About Ownership.
What drives me today isn’t just wanting to be skinny or more attractive. It’s wanting to feel good in my skin, to show up for myself and others. I want to feel in control of my choices—not controlled by food or the need to escape.
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck, I want you to know: You don’t need to do it all at once. You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to start choosing yourself—one habit at a time.